loyalty to principles (serious stuff) 10/13/00

A discussion on another list has me thinking about loyalty.  Here's an

abridged version of my most recent posting on this list.  Elsa edited it

to maintain appropriate confidentiality - - - - -

I, like so many people (especially women) of my generation,  was schooled to be loyal and positive, no matter what.  Decade after decade, it did me dirt.

Three years ago, on a trip to DisneyWorld, I first heard Stephen Covey talk about loyalty to principles instead of to people.  I had Elsa replay it over and over.  What a lot of grief knowing that earlier would have saved me.

Had I put loyalty to principles first and foremost, there would have been more confrontations - which made my stomach churn - in the short run and less chronic conflict in my life.  There would have been more disagreements, which frightened me, and clearer understanding. 

Putting loyalty to principles above people sounds simple.  It was not simple, it is not simple, not simple at all. 

Thinking about loyalty to principles lead me, in my rambly way, to

something Marianne Williamson said - - that we are intended to blow apart the status quo because the status quo is a killer.  That was another bit of audio tape that was practically worn out from playing and replaying.  What this has to do with loyalty to principles, I know not, but it came to my mind so I am including it.

I love Pete dearly, but there were times we were not in agreement – our happy blessing was having enough in common to make our relationship work. 

My children and I are not in agreement about everything - sometimes we have enough in common to make the relationship work, sometimes we do not. 

Over the years, my friends and I have not always been in agreement  -sometimes we have enough in common to make the relationship work, sometimes we do not.  

My organized church and I are not always in agreement -  there was and is enough common ground to make that relationship still work.  If it ever comes that I start staying in my church due to loyalty to the organization or to a cultural status quo rather than loyalty to the majority of its principles, it will be time to leave.

Nite-nite and God bless - - Kay