Actually, if you manage to get to 90 relatively sound of heart, mind and
body (or any combination of those
three), you have accomplished something pretty
unusual. To be honest, as I have
inched closer and closer to my centennial, being old has gotten somewhat easier - actually, a lot
easier. In my late 80s I began to see the humor and humanity in things much
more than before.
Looking back, the toughest years were when my energies were beginning to
flag and my body started slowing
down. My proprium - my sense of self
- felt
threatened as it became clear
that Katharine Reynolds Lockhart was far more
than just the sum of her physical parts.
Moving out of that hanging-on state
to one of accepting that the fixtures and fittings were coming apart was
like moving out of darkness and
confusion toward lightness and the light.
The concept of physical being, of
time and relationships became liberated.
I was beginning to get the hang
of these basic changes when I was hit by a small stroke late last September.
That small stroke sped up the process, liberating the me. My mind felt
strong, my spirit felt strong. As
my body started to head south, it no
longer had the energy to put up a fight about being temporary or
even fake being permanent. My feet drag somewhat and I move a lot more
slowly than I did, but most days my
spirit soars, making itself felt more
and more.
Nature has forced me into more meditative states and a slower, sssllooowwweerr tempo. Instead of being bored to tears sitting in
the big chair in the living room or in
my soothing rocking chair , it is surprisingly
rewarding.
The problem is that
young kids - looking through the eyes of a still preening self - feel sad and
think, "How dull her life must be."
Too many Ancient and near-Ancient
Ones come to think those young'uns are right.
A friend asked me to write about old age and make all the younger
folks envious of us Ancients. Growing old, even some of the sadder aspects
of it, is part of the Lord's grand scheme.
Let go of time-bound prejudices and fears of growing older. Marianne Williamson says that to get to the
light, a person has to work through the
darkness. In middle age, life can seem
dark.
Work through it toward the light.
Or perhaps consider a play - the closer
and closer the actors come to the curtain going up, the more experienced
they get, the more polished their
performance and the better able they are to
improvise when needed. It is the
same with life. Think of us Ancients
as master thespians, waiting for the
curtain to be rung up
It is past even this night owl's bed time. Nite-nite and God bless - A Kid at Heart
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